I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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