Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
