you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
