Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Randomize