I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
