I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
