if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
