i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
