Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Randomize
