i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
