Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
