I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
