Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Come see our sink grown plant.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
