Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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