Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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