When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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