I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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