I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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