I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
