very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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