best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
