No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
