Small penises have feelings too.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
