Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
