I think my vagina is haunted
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
