it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Randomize
