is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
