Small penises have feelings too.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
