he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
