my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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