She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
