Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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