there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
