i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Randomize