Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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