TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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