you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
