Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Dignity is for republicans.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
