I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
