I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
