its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you told grandpa to call you daddy
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize