are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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