Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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