We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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