He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
