I wanna bring you to show and tell
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
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