you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize