i was rollin on her like bob the builder
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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