filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
