I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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