Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
