I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Randomize
