worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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