I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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