i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Randomize
