I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
