But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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