Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
FUCK WHALES
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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