Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
