why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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