This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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