Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
