no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
