Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
