My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Randomize
